Special Report- March

Tiger: We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post for a special report. Hi, I am Tiger B & as we speak there are a million mad toddlers marching about the horrible injustice they face. Sparky B is our man on the scene. We now take you live to find out just what is going on. Sparky...

Sparky: Thank you Tiger. I am here in a little area known as Fort Meade, MD. I am surrounded by a million mad toddlers. They seem very upset by some sort of injustice that is occurring here. I have been lucky enough to get an interview with the head of this toddler union #3414-6, Robert B. Robert, can you tell us what is going on here?

Robert: Sure Sparky but let me start by saying call me Bobby. My mother is the one that calls me Robert. You see many people out there seem to think that us toddlers should conform to the madness of our parents, but we have our own minds & we should have rights!

Sparky: Wow Bobby, you seem pretty upset. Would you please fill our viewers in on just what has happened & why all million toddlers look exactly like you?

Bobby: You see Sparky, the most powerful skill every toddler has is our imagination. Most adults lose theirs when they enter adulthood but toddlers have more than enough imagination for everyone. I decided to make this million toddler army from that skill to prove a point to my parents. Toddlers all around the world ask our parents for certain things & are constantly met with the overbearing "NO". Today is to show that all toddlers are sick of this response. When can we get a "yes, you can have candy, cake, & chips for breakfast, lunch, & dinner" or "yes, you can make an art mural on the wall" or "yes, you can play outside in just a diaper during a snow storm" or "yes, you can stay up as late as you want plus skip your bath & brushing your teeth"?

Sparky: So the injustice that you march against today is this horrible no word? I guess I am a little confused. Isn't it just a word?

Bobby: Sparky I will be honest with you. The world of a toddler is totally at the disposal of our parents. If we go against the dreaded no word then we are met with oppression in the form of time outs &/or spankings. We have no freedoms, no choice in this world of ours. I want to know why we are denied rights. Why are we not allowed to be free spirits? It is unfair!!! ***Bobby starts screaming & stomping his feet as his army follows***

Sparky: Well folks I am going to go talk to the other side for a few minutes while these toddlers demonstrate their frustration. Ma'am can I get your side? Do you think you are destryoing toddler freedom?

Mommy: You guys are too funny. Fine I will play along. You see Sparky this lack of "freedom" is about perception. Robert gets to do lots of things he wants to do but your father & I have to put our foot down when it comes to certain things. We don't want any of you doing things that will harm you or destroy property. We put restrictions & say no because we are concerned for your safety & well being.

Sparky: Well folks I guess that just shows you how different sides view the issues. Back to you Tiger.

Tiger: What an interesting report Sparky. I never thought I would feel bad for begging for chocolate only to have my dreams squashed by the dreaded "NO!". We would like to thank every one for tuning in & we will now take you back to your regularly scheduled programing :-)