Tiger: With Turkey Day officially over & all of the holiday parties through out Dec we thought now would be the perfect time to share an article on The Miracle Toddler Diet. We have made a few updates so it is more appropriate for our toddler especially since we know how well it works for Bobby. Everyone knows that this time of year is horrible on the waist line so why not give this great new fad a try. Think about it have you ever seen an obese toddler... I know I haven't. Most toddlers have a slim physique & have found a great way to incorporate exercise into their day. As with all diets out their please consult a physician before trying any new diets or exercise routines.
The Miracle Toddler Diet:
Day One
Breakfast: 1 Scrambled Egg, 1 piece of jelly toast. Take 2 bites of egg, using only your fingers, then see if the rest will stick to the wall. Take one bite of toast, then smear the jelly on your face, clothes, and dogs that are begging for food.
AM workout: Find as many balls as possible. Proceed to throw them at the dogs then race the dogs to get the thrown balls. A good follow up is running up & down the halls with your hands out in front of you. This is extra successful when you add a growling wail to the run.
AM workout: Find as many balls as possible. Proceed to throw them at the dogs then race the dogs to get the thrown balls. A good follow up is running up & down the halls with your hands out in front of you. This is extra successful when you add a growling wail to the run.
Lunch: Find crumbs on the kitchen floor and eat them. Find that sippy cup you lost last week and finish it off.
PM workout: pull all of you toys off of the shelves then stack them. Once you are satisfied with your piles proceed to do step aerobics using these piles. If you have placed the piles in the right places then you should be able to add an arm workout by throwing things off counters as you are on the up step.
PM workout: pull all of you toys off of the shelves then stack them. Once you are satisfied with your piles proceed to do step aerobics using these piles. If you have placed the piles in the right places then you should be able to add an arm workout by throwing things off counters as you are on the up step.
Dinner: Drop pieces of spaghetti onto back of dog, insert meatball into ear. Dump pudding into apple juice and suck it up with a straw.
Day Two
Breakfast: 4 crayons, any color. 2 dimes, 3 nickels, and a penny. Wash it down with a squirt gun filled from the dog's dish.
AM workout: chase dogs into bathroom then work those biceps lifting the toilet seat. Giggle & roll on the floor as the dogs drink from the toilet. Trust me laughter is the best exercise. When done properly it is a full body activity
Breakfast: 4 crayons, any color. 2 dimes, 3 nickels, and a penny. Wash it down with a squirt gun filled from the dog's dish.
AM workout: chase dogs into bathroom then work those biceps lifting the toilet seat. Giggle & roll on the floor as the dogs drink from the toilet. Trust me laughter is the best exercise. When done properly it is a full body activity
Lunch: 2 bites of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 3 candy corn you found from last Halloween. Dump milk on table, slurp up with your tongue.
PM workout: run up & down the hall way screaming like a madman. Each time you are near the front door make sure to grab the handle & pull with all of your might. Throw in some grunts & wails & you should have succeeded in an outdoor work out. Once you are let outside make sure to run up & down the sidewalk. Stop periodically to sample the grass. Randomly drop to the ground in a nice muddy spot & roll around.
PM workout: run up & down the hall way screaming like a madman. Each time you are near the front door make sure to grab the handle & pull with all of your might. Throw in some grunts & wails & you should have succeeded in an outdoor work out. Once you are let outside make sure to run up & down the sidewalk. Stop periodically to sample the grass. Randomly drop to the ground in a nice muddy spot & roll around.
Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until it's sticky, drop it in the dirt, then continue licking until it's no longer dirty. Bring in the house and drop on the rug.
Dinner: Small bowl of ice cream, making sure you let the dogs share the bowl with you, Handful of cheese puffs, and Kool-aid. Be sure dump the cup of Kool-aid all over your head.
Day Three
Breakfast: Stale toast found under couch, 3 sips of flat Pepsi.
AM workout: Pick your favorite closet & climb the shelves. Get a great lung workout by squealing as you throw things from the shelves. Once you have been removed from the closet proceed to the big bed, climb up, then jump up & down for as long as you can.
Breakfast: Stale toast found under couch, 3 sips of flat Pepsi.
AM workout: Pick your favorite closet & climb the shelves. Get a great lung workout by squealing as you throw things from the shelves. Once you have been removed from the closet proceed to the big bed, climb up, then jump up & down for as long as you can.
Lunch: 1/4 tube of toothpaste (any flavor), handful of potato chips.
PM workout: Open the sliding glass door & let the dogs out. Follow after them & run around the back yard. Be extra diligent to make sure you get dog poop all over you.
PM workout: Open the sliding glass door & let the dogs out. Follow after them & run around the back yard. Be extra diligent to make sure you get dog poop all over you.
Dinner: Half a box of tissues, handfuls of Beneful dog food. Ice cube if desired.
Repeat this menu as needed until you achieve desired results.
Follow this toddler diet, and you too, will be fit and trim like every toddler on the block!
**Please do not really attempt this diet. It is only for comedy purposes. Be cautioned that if you approach your physician you may be sent for a mental health evaluation. Should you try this diet with out a doctor's advice be prepared for possible ER trips. No toddlers or dogs were harmed in this comedic skit**
**Please do not really attempt this diet. It is only for comedy purposes. Be cautioned that if you approach your physician you may be sent for a mental health evaluation. Should you try this diet with out a doctor's advice be prepared for possible ER trips. No toddlers or dogs were harmed in this comedic skit**
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